Last Friday, 14 November 2008, was the last day for this school semester. 

We had Graduation Day on that day.

Actually, during the Graduation Day ceremony, I was already in tears.

While watching the Primary 6 students singing 5 songs on the stage, I couldn't hold back my tears.

I was in charge of prize giving. So while I gathered the winners and queued them up to take the prize, I had casual talks with the students.

Some students told me, "Teacher, I finally remember you. You once taught us Maths three years ago in our class. I even remember your name."

I chatted with the Primary 6 students before and after they were on stage. We even took pictures.

After the ceremony which ended at 10.30pm, teachers and parents were invited to have teatime at the hall.

I did not go because I was busy grabbing my students everywhere to take pictures and signing autographs. (haha XD)

  

An example of being grabbed by me to take photos. Haha XD

Some were quite reluctant, but I still forced them to take pictures with me.

Some LOVED taking pictures and kept begging me to take more pictures.

Some were very calm and showed no expression to me before and after taking pictures.

But there were too many students...and hence, I really did not have much time to take pictures with them.

The whole school was like in chaos, because all students and teachers were busy having their own time with each other.

So when the headmistress announced on air that all students should be in the class and waited for the teachers-in-charge of the class to arrive, the whole school was back to norm again.

After getting crazy with the students, I went to my class, 2Z.

I never dared to let my 2Z students know that I will not be their form teacher next year.

I wanted so much to tell them but...I could not bring it up.

Sometimes I already gathered all my courage to tell them but because of administration work,  had totally forgotten all about it.

Until yesterday...I spent four periods continuously which was around 2 hours in 2Z.

Actually it supposed to be my colleague, Liang's class. But I had to collect their school fees and gave away their homework and presents, so I requested to stay in the class with the teacher.

Liang asked to leave the class early, so I allowed him to do so.

I waited for everything to be done...and during the last 10 minutes, I told them, "Now, I only have 10 more minutes to be your form teacher. After 10 minutes, I will not be your form teacher and I won't be teaching your class next year. But I will still be in school."

Some students asked, "You won't be teaching us, 3Z, next year?"

Others became quiet...but for few seconds, they started to chatter again.

That's my 2Z style - they can never stay quiet for long.

I thought that I should let them know early...but I couldn't because I really did not want to see their expressions if I told them the news.

I knew I couldn't bear to be apart with the students.

They had always thought that I would continue to teach them...that's why they never asked me if I was going to leave.

Until yesterday...they started to ask me.

Their parents also thought I would be their form teacher next year.

Some of their parents called to school and talked to me about whether I would be their form teacher again next year.

Some waited for me to come at the gate of the school and asked me.

Some came to see me in class and begged me.

It was really exaggerating, wasn't it?

Until the school bell rang...as I was tidying up my things and ready to leave, my student came to me and told me that a classmate cried.

I was worried so I walked to her and asked why she was crying.

She did not reply me and continued to weep.

The student that came to me told me, "Teacher, she cried because she said you are not going to be their form teacher next year."

When she uttered the words, tears started to roll down my cheeks again too.

I couldn't hold back my tears...because I also couldn't bear to let go of my 2Z students just like that.

She couldn't say anything...and kept crying.

The student continued, "Teacher, she said Mr Koh (Liang) was leaving too. She couldn't accept that you are not going to teach them too."

I kneeled down, wiped out her tears and said, "Silly...I will still be around in school. You can still see me everyday next year."

I tried to console her...but I couldn't bear to see my student cry because of me....so as I kept wiping her tears...my tears kept rolling down too.

I held her hands and arms, stroke her hair, trying to make her feel better.

She stopped crying and looked up to me and said, "Teacher, I am all right now."

My friend came in and I chatted with her. I looked at my student leaving and told her, "Enjoy your school holidays."

She nodded with a smile and bid goodbye to me. 

Another student came to me and said, "Teacher, I heard in the hall that we should apologise and give thanks to teachers that have taught us. So I want to tell you that I am sorry and thank you for teaching us."

"You are welcome. Thanks for everything. Enjoy your holidays."

I continued to chat with my friend and walked back to the teacher's room.

My colleagues who were going to leave cried together, including Liang.

I did not cry with them until one of my colleagues asked me to go and see my another 2Z student who was in the teacher's room.

Another student cried again. She actually had one left eye that was blind.

She was with my colleague, Yu who taught 2Z Malay language.

Yu cried with her and told me that she regretted for not going to 2Z before they left.

Yu was leaving the school too.

I couldn't hold back my tears again. I put my arms around her and cried.

I told her, "Don't worry, you can still see me. I will be around...just that I couldn't be your form teacher next year."

She cried even harder, which attracted the attention for other teachers in the room. Some teachers gathered around us and tried to console the little girl.

Liang was the last one who talked to the little girl.

Other than I, he was another teacher who spent most of the time in 2Z because he taught them Maths, Music and Physical Education.

He walked to her, kneeled down and wiped her tears.

He touched her cheeks gently and said, “I will come back and see you all. Don’t cry anymore, ok? Promise me that you will be good in school, ok?”

Yu and I put our arms around her.

Yu said, “I worried that she might cry even harder if she continued to stay here. Let’s bring her out of the teacher’s room and see her off.”

Liang volunteered to bring her out and asked us to stay in the room.

He walked her out of the room and we watched them walking off down the stairs.

I chatted with Yu for a while and went back to my seat.

With tears in my eyes, I ate my lunch there alone.

Another colleague, Ru who was leaving and Yu then walked to me and hugged me.

Ru said, “Xian, I really can’t bear to be apart with you all. I am really happy that I know you all.”

We hugged each other and cried.

Actually I started to get close to them only for few weeks even though I have been teaching for 3 and a half months.

Before that I only got to chat with them when I was alone and met them. I used to be with my friend a lot but my friend didn’t get along with them much. So I did not have much chance to talk to them when my friend was around.

After I was invited to join them to the Kukup trip two weeks ago, they started to ask me to join them for lunch, dinner or for casual talks.

They are really friendly and warm people. They always have exciting plans and like to do crazy things together. I like them very much.

I have just got to know them but I guess it was rather late to get close to them.

But for these few weeks, although I was really exhausted doing my work until wee hours everyday, their company always made me forget about my fatigue.

Seeing me being heavy-loaded with paperwork, they tried to help me in whatever they could. My Primary 5 students always followed me everywhere, hoping that I could share my workload with them.

Their help really reduces my workload and I am really thankful that I meet them.

The one whom I feel I owe him a lot is Liang.

Throughout our teaching days, he really helped me a lot, especially when I was alone doing my work.

That’s when I became alone and as I got used being with my friend, I did not go around and chat with other colleagues.

Most of the time I only talked to my colleague, Shan who was sitting beside me in the teacher’s room.

Although Liang sat on the left of my table, I did not talk to him much.

Until once when we sat together in the living room, we talked about 2Z class. That was when we started to have our long chat throughout the night until 1.30am.

I thought we would remain as chatting friends until one day when I met a big problem.

I was rushing to mark all the homework before their final exam but I had no time to mark all in school as I had to give home tuition.

It was raining very heavily and there was no electricity at the hostel.

I stood at the door and stared outside, wondering whether I should go to school and took all the homework back to hostel to mark.

Liang just came back from school and sat at the living room.

He asked me what I was doing.

I told him my worries.

He asked me what I decided to do.

I told him I decided to forget about the homework and sleep.

I couldn’t put my mind to rest and after 15 minutes, I changed my mind, took my keys and ran downstairs to the door.

As I was unlocking the door, he asked, “You are going to school now in this bad weather?”

“Yes, I have to go. I feel restless thinking about my homework in school and can’t do anything. So I must go.”

“Okay, I will go with you.”

“Are you crazy? You don’t have to go with me. You just came back from school.”

“Then how are you going to take all the books?”

“I have brought my big bag and plastic bags to take the books. I won’t bring all them back here.”

“In that case, then I think I will go with you. You can’t take all the books alone, you know?”

“But…”

“I am going with you.”

He walked out of the door with an umbrella. I knew I couldn’t say anything more so I uttered, “Sorry to bother you. Thanks a lot.”

“Ah…it is just a small matter. Don’t take it to heart.”

As we walked halfway to the school, he asked, “Are there really a lot of books?”

“Yes, but I don’t intend to take all of them back.”

“Do you need me to call Kai (another colleague) to fetch the books back to the hostel for you?”

“Huh? You don’t have to do so.”

“Okay.”

After a few seconds, he said again, “I think I better call Kai to come and help.”

He took his handphone out and called Kai. He told him about my problem and asked him to help. Kai agreed to help and drove to school.

In the end, Liang helped me carry all the books to Kai’s car and fetched the books back to the hostel.

It really shocked me. I was really shocked to see how my colleagues helped me even though my friend was not around.

From that day onwards, Liang helped me with a lot of things and we always talked to each other until late nights.

During the last week in school, he stayed in school until very late and we often walked together back to the hostel. He even offered to help me carry my heavy stuff.

As I was really heavy-loaded and there was not much time to finish all the stuff alone, I asked for his help like helping me to measure my 2Z class’s height, weight and eyesight.

During the last week, we also chatted until wee hours…and we shared a lot regarding our teaching experiences together.

We both love 2Z a lot, so when we talked about 2Z, we always got very excited and chatted about 2Z non-stop.

I thought I could never be able to get along with my housemates well because at the beginning, I really didn’t talk to my housemates. But as time passed, I started to get along with them and they are such lovely people.

I am really grateful that during moments when I was alone, I have my colleagues and students to accompany me and make me smile.

Ming Terk teachers getting crazy in Kukup (Courtesy by Wei)

I will really miss them. Thanks for everything, my colleagues. I guess I will miss the days chatting with Liang about 2Z very much.

All the best, everyone, including all my friends who know me.

God bless.